3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
