Please don't use social media to get back at me.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize
