guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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