we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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