i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i came on her dog
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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