I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize