the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
