My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
