SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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