Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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