And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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