There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
