Me too!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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