i was rollin on her like bob the builder
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I am available for nakedness
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
