dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
