I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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