dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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