lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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