I accidentally had phone sex last night
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
