Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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