I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
