who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize