he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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