I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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