I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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