Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
