So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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