I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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