dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
