you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
