dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
whose parrot is this?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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