oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
