Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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