the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My feet surprised me
Randomize
