Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
