I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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