They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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