Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
