She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
