She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
they need to just BURY HIM!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
