Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
only if we run a train.
done.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
