yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
