we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
