It's like God shit irony all over that family
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
