I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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