i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
