I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
