Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
