The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
