Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize