Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
