apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
