He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
