dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
