Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
