Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
