How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
