it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
