I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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