if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
