And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize