I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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