just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
