New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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