O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
