I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My ass is underappreciated
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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