Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
