you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
