I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
