He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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